F*** you Keruig, Mr. Coffee is back

Keruig retired and Mr Coffee is back on the jobI bought the Keruig about a year ago. After about eleven months and two weeks of buyer’s remorse and stubbornly trying to get my money’s worth out of it, I’m done with it. Here’s why:

In no particular order:

  • I’m tired of generating plastic trash each and every cup of coffee I drink.
  • I do not want to continue paying a minimum of around sixty cents per cup of coffee.
  • Weak watery coffee sucks and that’s about all the Keruig is capable of.
  • The Keruig locks up like a PC over half the time and requires I slap the shit out of it after restarting the brewing process.
  • The thing takes up way too much counter space.

What I thought I’d like about it:

  • No more big pots of coffee
  • Faster
  • Easier
  • Cheaper considering the quality after wasted coffee is accounted for

The true comparison between my Keruig and my small Mr. Coffee

  • I average about three 12oz cups of coffee – I can make to order with the smaller Mr. Coffee too.
  • My little Mr. Coffee, which I married into owning 17 years ago still works flawlessly. I have to babysit the Keruig.
  • Mr. Coffee generates one bio-degradeable coffee filter and some coffee grounds for waste compared to those little plastic cups. I’m no green machine but hey…
  • Factoring the time spent turning it on, letting the Keruig warm up, making sure it has water in the reservoir, loading the coffee cartridge, and having to burp the thing most of the time to get it to work, the Keruig isn’t much, if any faster.
  • Mr. Coffee uses a fraction of the counter space.
  • I can make my coffee as strong as I damn well want with Mr. Coffee and I like it strong and that was impossible with the Keruig.
  • I bought that pouch of coffee in the picture for six dollars at Wal-Mart. It’s their generic brand. Coffee nerds might turn their snobby nose up at the brand but its better than anything that came out of my Keruig and I estimate at least a 50% saving if not more.
  • I don’t have to stand there for two minutes watching my Mr. Coffee and when I walk away to let it brew I return to a hot cup, not one that’s sitting there cooling.
  • I turn off the Mr. Coffee between individual brews – the Keruig I left on during the coffee-drinking portion of my day because that bastard takes a long time to heat up.

I could probably think of more but that’s what I was able to rapid fire off the top of my head in a few minutes.

If you are thinking about buying a Keruig or similar, don’t.